roses-dont-last-forever:

redphonebooth3:

betterthandarkchocolate:

prettyarbitrary:

toastoat:

WHY IS SOME CLOTHING SO HARD

Okay, show of hands.  Who else has experienced legitimate fear of becoming trapped in a piece of clothing in a fitting room?

*raises hand*

*raises hand*

*raises hand*

I can’t raise my hand until I free myself from this clothing

(via lizz-smith95)

endthymes:

“does anyone else-” yes

“am i the only one who-” no

“is it weird that i-” probably not

(via lizz-smith95)

blackbruise:

do you ever wonder if anyone reads your blog like everyday just to check on you 

(via lizz-smith95)

raideo:

wheeeeeeeeeeew:

This is the best thing on the internet.

I HAVE ONLY EVER SEEN THE SFM VERSION OF THIS WITH SPY FLJ:HDS IM DYING

(via bobthetrombone)

puppetmasternaegi:

2xpistolsandawink:

nottheshepardyourelookingfor:

aktwerkthatbooty:

Jesus Christ.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE.

I just hurt myself laughing

Jesus, you JESUS.

OH MY GOD

(via lizz-smith95)

lettheledout:

georgedickham:

have you ever met a person that you’re forced to mantain a level of cold civility towards but if you could you would totally punch them as hard as you could but you can’t so every second you’re forced to be around them you’re thinking of smashing their face in just so they’ll shut up

i wish i could say no…..but yes. 

(via lizz-smith95)

hils-k:

augustetheconsultingmeddler:

A version of Sherlock’s Theme I made, played from samples of hitting and ringing a wine glass.

image

image

This is amazeballs!

(via bobthetrombone)

fall-out-bagel:

I asked them to make double chins and joe just said “imagine mine”

fall-out-bagel:

I asked them to make double chins and joe just said “imagine mine”

(via jaxtheripper13)

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

(via lizz-smith95)

dizzleceezy:

argentourage:

what if you could meet your celebrity crush but the cost was them knowing everything you’ve ever said about them in your tumblr tags

(via keep-dreaming-on-forever)

  • DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
  • Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
  • DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
  • Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
  • DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
  • Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
  • DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
  • Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
  • DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
  • Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
  • DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
  • Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
  • DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
  • Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
  • DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
  • Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
  • DC: Wait-
  • Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
  • DC: I didn't-
  • Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
  • Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
  • Marvel: PEACE

leopard-cub:

tumblr literally defies all things i’ve been taught:

  • don’t talk to strangers
  • don’t make friends online
  • don’t do anything stupid

(via lizz-smith95)

factota:

bampdeer:

factota:

"i don’t support feminism because i don’t hate men"

image

Sure is actually. I believe the term you’re interested in is GENDER EQUALITY.

image

(via lizz-smith95)

  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

verysmalldeer:

nevecampbell:

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

(via mrkeepcalm19)